She just used a chaser for red wine.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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