dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
