So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
