I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize