I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
