wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
