what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We need to get me chipped asap
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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