i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
