feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
