Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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