HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
