dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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