So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
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You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
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This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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