Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize