I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
