Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
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One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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