You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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