What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
