My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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