just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
