he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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