He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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