I puked a lego.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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