just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
