His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
