i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize