I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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