i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
