Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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