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Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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