'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Rumble strips road head = magical
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
