Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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