so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize