Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
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