I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
