I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Your penis caused this!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
