I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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