Will you blow on my dice?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
