come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
