the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
