Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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