Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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