i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
