i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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