I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize