i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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