Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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