Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
