I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
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Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There's always time for handjobs
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
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He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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