maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
