what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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