I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
