kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
