For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
