WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
