Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
