bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
