this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My ATM looks so different sober.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
