I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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