ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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