he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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