I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
