definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
